What Shall We Do with Mother? How to manage when your elderly parent is dependent on you
ISBN: 1905410034
9781905410033
One of the toughest phases of life comes when you realise that one of your parents is becoming dependent on you. This book follows the stories of other people who have been there before, and offers advice and ideas for coping with the guilt, the emotional stress, the conflicting pressures on your time, and the family tensions that can arise.
It was a revelation to research and to write this book, since it shone a light into a number of dark corners. It showed up the often woeful lack of joined-up thinking in the NHS, the plight of many old people in soulless hospital wards, and the quiet army of the great unsung who just knuckle down and get on with caring.
I was both humbled and heartened to discover so many good people willing to share their often heartbreaking stories with me in the hope their experiences would help others.
Earning Money After You’ve Retired – inspirational ideas to supplement your pension
ISBN: 9781905410224
In the course of putting together to 50 or more case studies, it was so interesting (and not a little humbling) to encounter a woman of 85 eking out her pension by working as an exercise class tutor, a former Royal Navy officer gamely taking on the challenges presented by life as a classroom assistant, and a retired executive still passionate enough about his hobby of fish-keeping to turn it into a little money-spinner to pay for holidays and extras.
One fact that emerged very clearly from my work on this book is that people are staying younger for longer, and I made this point when speaking in various radio interviews.
This interesting generation, really the first wave of the Baby Boomers, are happy to keep earning but without the hard slog they’ve put in for the past 40 years.
They have looked for interesting and enjoyable ways to supplement their pension and it was no surprise to me that I found them, almost without exception, to be happy and fulfilled. While most enjoy the financial benefits, one woman spoke from the heart when she said she had taken on part-time work so that she wouldn’t be taken for granted as an unpaid minder for her grandchildren. Truly a generation still with so much to give – and plenty to say.
The book was published in October 2007.
How to Split Up and Stay in One Piece – surviving divorce and relationship breakdown
ISBN: 9781905410293
Again, this involved a massive research exercise. About 40 interviews with experts on the subject (lawyers, therapists, divorce coaches and relationship counsellors) and survivors of separation and divorce were carried out via phone and email and face-to-face. It was certainly a different way to spend a summer and as a result I could, and indeed frequently do, bore for Britain on the subject on the airwaves and in print.
However, as a ‘recovered’ divorcee myself, albeit now in one extremely happy piece with David, my second and last husband, I was pretty much painfully aware of how courageous so many good people had been in reliving and relating their experiences as case studies for the book.
I knew it couldn’t have been easy for them to answer such personal questions as ‘Why did your marriage go wrong?’ and ‘What efforts did you make to hold it together?’ All were offered, and most took, the chance to use an alias, and I really don’t blame them. The fallout from a broken marriage or shattered relationship is bad enough without it then being exposed on a public stage.
Once more, I encountered some wonderful people while working on this book, from sad but bravely defiant young men who’d loved and lost, to older women gamely trying not to be bitter, to thoughtful, savvy divorce coaches with their wise words of advice for recovery. No, I had no idea there were such people as divorce coaches either, but it shows what an ‘industry’ this whole business of relationships has become.
The book was published in April 2008.
